Final Year: Part 2 - A reason for sadness
Hey Friends,
Yes, I know I had written something recently and yes, today once again I will share some more things.
Well, In a nutshell, I am really going through a hard time now. The problem is that I am not able to decide and say which path is the best for me and which path I should choose. I am really really worried about my career at this very moment. I always wanted to do whatever I wanted to. I hate following other's instructions. I hate when people suggest me to change my ways. I like to do the things my way only and I have achieved many things following that way.
Previously, My future seemed to be blurred but now It looks completely dark. I still am not sure if I have done the right thing choosing the branch I am in. I still have some doubt about my choice of choosing this college. Is my future gonna be the way I want? Am I really going to live a life I always wanted? I really have no Idea about the answers to these questions.
This semester seems to be the worst one out of all the previous semesters. I am not saying that this semester I have a lot of academic pressure or all the bad things are happening with me. But this semester feels different. I feel like I have come back to the first year and will almost no excitement for college or even life. Everything looks boring here.
Currently placements season is going on and I had previously decided to apply for a very few companies as my primary goal was to clear some competitive exams and finally go for higher studies. But gradually I have developed an interest in placements and have been applying for most of the companies. I saddest part is that I haven't cleared a single Online test which is the first stage exam for any company. This is kind of depressing. I shall try and keep trying. There is actually no issue even if I don't get placed. I can always go for the plan 'B' which is higher studies. I kind of have something in my mind. If I am successful and I remember this, I shall surely share it with you.
I really regret not learning coding in my previous years. No one told me to learn it. I focused more on the core areas although I have a great interest in coding. I really should have practiced coding problems since the very first year.
So these are a few serious things I am really worried about right now. Other than this, I am not really happy this semester. Most of the things have changed. I don't feel the same as I used to feel last semester. I realized an important fact this year that most of the people who try to contact you unexpectedly, are the people who really don't care about you. In short, Everyone is selfish. I am too. You are too. We just don't realize these things. If you open my whatsapp ever and check the messages, you will find that most of the people talk to me whenever they need something from me. I have a very few messages saying " Hey, how are you?, How are you doing?, How's life going on? etc.". Relatives are selfish too. The only people who aren't really selfish are parents. Or in reality we can say that they are selfish too, but their selfishness is always in the favor of their kids. So basically, 99% of the people I interact with are selfish. I am included in that percentage too.
So weird right. World is so weird and so are we all. One day I heard someone saying, " When you turn 20, you will understand the real you". And yes, that's absolutely true. I used to think that friendship lasts forever but I understood recently that friendship vanishes even before you realize it. I am a bit sad and worried today. I lack motivation and confidence. But trust me I have now learned how to talk to people with full of confidence. Although, I feel kind of dead from inside. I don't feel any excitement or interest in living a long life. Life already is boring.
I know, I have written a lot this time. I like to share my thoughts and experiences. I don't have anyone to listen to all this and that's why I write all this stuff here so that atleast I can read all this whenever I want.
I shall not waste more time on this now. So I will write more later. Till then, Enjoy.
Yes, I know I had written something recently and yes, today once again I will share some more things.
Well, In a nutshell, I am really going through a hard time now. The problem is that I am not able to decide and say which path is the best for me and which path I should choose. I am really really worried about my career at this very moment. I always wanted to do whatever I wanted to. I hate following other's instructions. I hate when people suggest me to change my ways. I like to do the things my way only and I have achieved many things following that way.
Previously, My future seemed to be blurred but now It looks completely dark. I still am not sure if I have done the right thing choosing the branch I am in. I still have some doubt about my choice of choosing this college. Is my future gonna be the way I want? Am I really going to live a life I always wanted? I really have no Idea about the answers to these questions.
This semester seems to be the worst one out of all the previous semesters. I am not saying that this semester I have a lot of academic pressure or all the bad things are happening with me. But this semester feels different. I feel like I have come back to the first year and will almost no excitement for college or even life. Everything looks boring here.
Currently placements season is going on and I had previously decided to apply for a very few companies as my primary goal was to clear some competitive exams and finally go for higher studies. But gradually I have developed an interest in placements and have been applying for most of the companies. I saddest part is that I haven't cleared a single Online test which is the first stage exam for any company. This is kind of depressing. I shall try and keep trying. There is actually no issue even if I don't get placed. I can always go for the plan 'B' which is higher studies. I kind of have something in my mind. If I am successful and I remember this, I shall surely share it with you.
I really regret not learning coding in my previous years. No one told me to learn it. I focused more on the core areas although I have a great interest in coding. I really should have practiced coding problems since the very first year.
So these are a few serious things I am really worried about right now. Other than this, I am not really happy this semester. Most of the things have changed. I don't feel the same as I used to feel last semester. I realized an important fact this year that most of the people who try to contact you unexpectedly, are the people who really don't care about you. In short, Everyone is selfish. I am too. You are too. We just don't realize these things. If you open my whatsapp ever and check the messages, you will find that most of the people talk to me whenever they need something from me. I have a very few messages saying " Hey, how are you?, How are you doing?, How's life going on? etc.". Relatives are selfish too. The only people who aren't really selfish are parents. Or in reality we can say that they are selfish too, but their selfishness is always in the favor of their kids. So basically, 99% of the people I interact with are selfish. I am included in that percentage too.
So weird right. World is so weird and so are we all. One day I heard someone saying, " When you turn 20, you will understand the real you". And yes, that's absolutely true. I used to think that friendship lasts forever but I understood recently that friendship vanishes even before you realize it. I am a bit sad and worried today. I lack motivation and confidence. But trust me I have now learned how to talk to people with full of confidence. Although, I feel kind of dead from inside. I don't feel any excitement or interest in living a long life. Life already is boring.
I know, I have written a lot this time. I like to share my thoughts and experiences. I don't have anyone to listen to all this and that's why I write all this stuff here so that atleast I can read all this whenever I want.
I shall not waste more time on this now. So I will write more later. Till then, Enjoy.
